Ready for some shocking news?
A new study out of the University of Chicago found that taking soda machines out of schools hasn't cut the amount of soda kids are drinking and it's done exactly zero to reduce childhood obesity rates.
Ummm…I just can't help myself…
WE TOLD YOU SO!
Okay, I'm done acting like I'm 12.
But really, we need a study for that? Maybe I should be thrilled. Food nannies love a good study. Do you think they'll be compelled after seeing this new study to call off the attacks on sodas and other sugary drinks? Maybe soda-hating CSPI's mouthpiece Margo Wootan will issue a statement apologizing to soda companies?
Okay, I'm done living in my fantasy world.
More than likely, the food nannies will take the news the same way this Atlantic reporter did when he reported on the new study by saying "a comprehensive ban may be more effective than a soda-only restriction."
Ah, yes. Well that's one way to make lemonade. Just go ahead with that creative reasoning: the University of Chicago study doesn't demonstrate the utter uselessness of these drink bans, it shows that they don't go far enough. Looking forward to those soon-to-be-announced juice and sports drink bans!